The unsent letter

There are events in our lives that mark a turning point - our life goes in a different direction afterward. Often we realize the importance as the event is happening but occasionally it doesn't become clear to us until much, much later. This story falls into the second category.

The first weeks of my freshman year of college were bewildering and unsettling for me. I was overwhelmed by the activity around me, I was homesick and I was overwhelmed by the internal pressure I felt to change the world. In my narcissistic head I believed college was my field to cultivate and I was prepared. Sometime in those first weeks I was flipping through the student newspaper when I saw an advertisement for Planned Parenthood. That was the first domino to fall.

I began composing a letter to the paper. I no longer have a copy of it but it was full of fire, passion and conviction. I railed against Planned Parenthood as an "abortion mill." I bemoaned the loss of so many unborn babies. And I implored the paper to stop accepting advertisements from such a sinful organization. And I sent it fully believing I was doing the Lord's work.

You see, at that time you could have found me squarely at the crossroads of self-importance and fundamentalism. It had been drilled into me during the later part of high school that if someone I knew went to hell it was because I let them down. If there were babies being murdered and I didn't do anything about it then I was a participant in the crime. I would listen to the lyrics of Baby Doe by Steve Taylor and cry as I realized that I did bear the blame and I did share the shame. It was up to me to do something about it.

So I sent the letter fully expecting that the paper would read it, the Planned Parenthood ads would be pulled and I could move on to my next conquest. I was unprepared when they published the letter.

In retrospect I can't imagine why they wouldn't have published it. The writings of a religious whack-job certainly had entertainment value. Suddenly my name was known everywhere on campus. I was recognized as an uncompromising crusader for righteousness. Everyone I passed who looked at me knew who I was. They might not have liked me or what I stood for but by God they knew who I was.

Actually that was all in my imagination. I wanted it to be true but I suspect most people forgot about the letter if they read it at all. But in the next issue there were two responses to the letter - one from a Planned Parenthood representative and one from a professor. Both debunked my letter's assertions calmly and reasonably. I didn't mind. Someone really did notice my letter and I was itching for a fight. I would respond publicly in the paper with my magnum opus and demolish the strongholds of evil in my college town once and for all.

I began writing my follow-up letter. I was intoxicated with the sense of power. I would spend hours in the library researching Planned Parenthood, abortion procedures and crafting my words carefully. I would imagine the accolades I would receive from fellow Christians when they realized what I had accomplished. Several days later I had finished my masterpiece and I was prepared to unleash it on the world.

I never sent it.

For weeks afterward I was disappointed in myself. I had a chance to do something great and I let it slip away. I initially attributed this to cowardice and tried to mentally move on to something else. But over time it became clearer and clearer to me that my little crusade was not holy. I realized it really had little to do with God and mostly served as a way to maintain my inflated ego. I quietly burned the unsent letter and went on with my life. Once in the library I gave my name to the lady behind the counter and she responded "Oh so you're the infamous one?" I mumbled something and left as soon as possible. Other than that I tried to forget about the letters and move on.

In retrospect this was one of the most important moments in my life. It clearly marked the beginning of the end of my adolescence and the start of maturity, both emotional and spiritual. Had I sent that second letter my life could have taken a frighteningly different course. By the grace of God it turned out differently.

I still occasionally struggle with grandiosity. Part of that is how I'm put together and part of that is the unhealthy influence of my early faith instruction. However it's become less and less prominent as time has flowed on. I'm twice as old now and I recall the incident with embarrassment but also with enlightenment. As I've become more whole, I've sought to develop a healthier faith. It's become important to me to put away childish things.

Falwell's followers

Yes, yes. I know. It's Wednesday so why am I posting?

Maybe you've read about Jerry Falwell ranting against the Christian Alliance for Progress. If not, it's pretty standard stuff. But the truly enjoyable part for me was reading the comments from his followers. My favorites are:

You are preaching aposticy [sic] Cedar Falls, IA You are preaching aposticy [sic]. You cannot claim Christianity. You are lying to people and even if you gain in this world, you lose eternity which is for everyone who accepts Jesus as the one and only way to redemption. I will pray you find your way for you are truely [sic] lost. What really matters in this world is Jesus and not politics.

Especially when your politics don't agree with the religious right.

Homos [both sic and a sick word] are disgusting Jacksonville, FL You cannot be labled [sic] "Christian" if promote gay rights. Romans 1:26-30 states that homos are the only buncg [sic] that God ever gave up on. Homos are disgusting, God even called them an "Abomination."

Why is it that these people always know how to spell abomination even if they misspell everything else and cannot form a coherent sentence?

I'll stop now. The rest are just as fun. Trust me.

Overheard in Sunday School...

Sitting in our adult Sunday School class today we were in a discussion of how the Christian is to strive not to be conformed to the world. Suddenly one of the ladies spoke up that all she had been hearing about for the last week was the new Harry Potter book. She remarked that children on the news were lining up to get the newest book. She was upset that there were Christian families that had actually bought Harry Potter books and let their children read them. She ended her commentary with the statement "I wish ministers all across the country would band together and start preaching against this Harry Potter."

Because, you see, it's Harry Potter that is responsible for the downfall of the formerly Christian United States. Not families struggling with divorce, poverty and violence. Not the replacement of true Christian moral authority with Christian political authority. Not any one of a hundred different legitimate worries. Nope it's a bratty English boy with a scar on his forehead. Sadly her attitude is relatively common among conservative Christians (see "Is Harry Potter Harmless?")

How many of the people who get their panties in a bunch about Harry Potter have read the books? I'm not certain but I can guess the number is astoundingly low. If they had, they would read about the bonds of family, the importance of fighting evil, the struggles of growth and maturity and, above all, the need for friendship. Scary stuff indeed.

I suspect most people focus only on the magic in the books and react with a knee-jerk fear. I'll never forget a conversation with a fellow church-goer about going to see The Lord of the Rings movies. He talked about how he wouldn't take his daughter to go see it. "Oh. Well she might be a bit too young" I replied. He looked me in the eye and stated "No. No one in our family will go see them. They have sorcery in them." I informed him that they were fantasy books written by a Christian but the discussion was effectively over at that point.

The sad thing is that the "preaching against this Harry Potter" cements in the secular mind that Christians are pushy, uninformed and more concerned about people being exposed to the wrong things than actually loving and living sacrificially.

And for what it's worth, I liked The Last Temptation of Christ more than The Passion.

Bumper stickers from hell

It's time for a pet peeve of mine. Ready? It's the dual strike of "Christian" bumper stickers and the fish emblem on cars. I've disliked these for quite awhile but the flames are burning higher recently because I stumbled across this recent offender on a car in front of me at a stop light: "Don't expect a party in hell; it's been cancelled due to fire." Nice huh?

There are several things that bother me about it (besides it's tastelessness and crassness which is a given). First, I'm not sure what the driver is trying to accomplish by displaying this. I suspect they are rationalizing this as some sort of witnessing tool. I guess they hope someone will read it and respond with "Wow. I never quite thought of things like that before. I think he's right. I need to ask God to forgive me for my sins and be born again right away. I'm off to church and if I'm lucky maybe they'll have an altar call."

What I think really happens is people either look at it and respond indifferently ("Heh. That's kinda funny.") or even worse, are offended and pushed away from faith. Jesus told us to "Let your light [not your bumper stickers or your fish emblems] so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your father which is in heaven." The only ones who really enjoy these silly bumper stickers are other Christians.

And I think that is the true purpose behind the bumper stickers and the fish: they serve as a way for Christians to identify each other out in public. It serves the same function as the secret handshake or gang colors - a means of strengthening solidarity.

That said, it is now time for the "Christian" bumper sticker Hall of Shame. Besides the obvious stinker above, these are the ones I found particularly silly and/or offensive.

• On Judgment Day, you'll wish your car had Jesus stickers.
• Jesus my judge or Jesus my lawyer. It's your choice.
• Got Jesus? It's Hell without him.
• After the rapture give this car to my mother-in-law.
• Too blessed to be depressed.
• Go to church. Don't wait for the hearse to take you.
• God created Adam & Eve not Adam & Steve.
• Born once - die twice. Born twice - die once.

Feel free to email or comment if you have further nominations and I'll add them to a future post. I think I've found the most offensive but I could easily be wrong.

Slippery is the slope

I am standing firmly on the slippery slope.

Several months ago I gave up the belief that the Bible is inerrant. I had been taught this ever since I was "born again" at age 15 and never questioned it. I was told this was the hallmark of a good Christian: they don't question the inerrancy of Scripture. And I was a good Christian.

What is inerrancy? Dave Miller gives a good description when he states

"Inerrant" means "wholly true" or "without mistake" and refers to the fact that the biblical writers were absolutely errorless, truthful, and trustworthy in all of their affirmations. The doctrine of inerrancy does not confine itself to moral and religious truth alone. Inerrancy extends to statements of fact, whether scientific, historical, or geographical. The biblical writers were preserved from the errors that appear in all other books.

I completely bought into this belief. I wanted the bumper sticker that proclaimed "The Bible said it, I believe it and that settles it." I would argue with people about minute points of contention. I read and re-read Josh McDowell's Evidence That Demands a Verdict. But as I matured as a person and as a Christian I began to harbor secret doubts. I love reading about astronomy and quickly ran into descriptions of how old the universe is. Apparently 6,000 years is not quite enough time. Why were there no dinosaurs mentioned in the Bible? Are gays really deserving of punishment when it appears that is how they were put together in utero? How exactly did Judas die?

I would vacillate back and forth between the inerrant view and my increasing doubts. I was regularly told that "great and grave confusion results from ceasing to maintain the total truth of the Bible whose authority one professes to acknowledge." The reality of my life was that I was already experiencing great and grave confusion from trying to reconcile a literal interpretation of the Bible what I was learning from science and history. Mark Mattison sums up the problem nicely:

Inerrancy as taught in many churches focuses too much attention on the Bible and not enough on what it teaches. It drives commentators to harmonize passages that were never meant to be harmonized, turning literary accounts of faith into wooden historical biographies and homogenizing Scripture in such a way as to overshadow the original authors' individual meanings. Finally, it tends to weaken Christian faith by unnecessarily tying it to an indefensible Bibliology. Every historical detail, no matter how insignificant, becomes as important as the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. If in actual fact Caesar Augustus did not really order a census while Quirinius was governor of Syria - if it turns out there really was only one Gadarene demonaic rather than two - then the entire Bible becomes worthless and every tenet of Christian faith falls flat. If one single discrepancy emerges, it's all over. This makes Christian faith an easy target for skeptics, and drives believers to unimaginable lengths to "defend" the Bible.

I am not prepared to paint my faith into a corner and then have to belligerently defend my territory.

I am now standing firmly on the slippery slope. You know the slippery slope don't you? Once you stop believing that the Bible is free from error it's just a short hop, skip and a jump to pantheism, atheism, secularism, Buddhism, child molesting, murder, rape and hell. Not necessarily in that order. Well so far I'm resisting. And as the details of how to successfully reconcile contradictory geneologies fades from memory I find I enjoy reading the Bible much more now. I can focus on the true messages of Scripture. God loves us so much that he sent his only son to save us. We should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. There is hope and meaning. Amen.