"It's a mystery! Now shut up!"

God is a mystery. This seems to be a central truth of our faith. There are and always will be limits to our knowledge and experience of God. God is bigger than our denominations, dogmas, doctrines, bigger even than the Bible. I love The Orthodox Way by Father Kallistos Ware because he always seems to sum things up nicely:

A God, that is to say, whom we claim to understand exhaustively through the resources of our reasoning brain turns out to be no more than an idol, fashioned in our own image. Such a "God" is most emphatically not the true and living God of the Bible and the Church. Man is made in God's image, but the reverse is not true.

Are we comfortable with the mystery of God? Do we embrace God as a mystery? Or do we subtly and not-so-subtly reduce God to a bite-sized portion? I'm amused at Christians who read the Bible and presume a complete understanding of God. This smacks of bibliolatry (which I'll talk about in the future sometime). The Bible does reveal God to us but only in part, limited by the medium of the written word but especially limited by our humanness, our finiteness.

A Bible study I attend at church is very focused on studying the book of Romans. We've worked on Romans for two years and are only halfway through the book. We dissect and analyze a verse or three a week. At times we get to "difficult passages" as they are called. Predestination vs. freewill. Eternal vs. conditional salvation. As we try to discern what the Scripture says people do backflips and contort wildly to make the Scriptures fit their particular view. Everyone has passages that support their view and passages they ignore because they seem contradictory.

I don't feel the need to do this. I accept that the Bible is a limited document. It can never tell us all we want to know about God. It may not even tell us all we need to know. I let Scripture serve as a roadsign, pointing me toward the greater mystery that is God. I can rest confidently in that. I don't have to understand everything. When I try to force life to fit into neatly organized categories I run the very great risk of limiting God. Father Ware again:

We see that it is not the task of Christianity to provide easy answers to every question, but to make us progressively aware of a mystery.

When we reach for the easy answers, the clear-cut dogma, we insulate ourselves from the awe-inspiring wonder of God. One of the reasons I worship is because God is mystery. I am small, limited, human. What else can I do but worship?

I had a philosophy professor in college who used to make fun of Christians. He'd talk about apparent contradictions and inconsistencies in our faith and would then paraphrase the Christian response as "It's a mystery! Now shut up!" I know he was against the anti-intellectual trends we find among Christians at times. But the reality is that we can never understand reality. Things happen and we don't have explanations. God is inscrutable and the farther we travel on this path the thicker the darkness becomes. Does it make sense to me? Not always. Embrace our limits. Praise God.

Christian Alliance for Progress

Thanks to I Am A Christian Too for the following link to the Christian Alliance For Progress. This is a very interesting site and I'd encourage everyone to check it out. I particularly like The Jacksonville Declaration:

To The Political and Church Leaders of the Religious Right:

As responsible and patriotic Americans, we can be silent no longer. In light of the deepening polarization in our country's social and political life, we feel compelled to speak out to you in a spirit of sincerity.

For many people, your words and actions have identified Christianity with radical, far right politics. We believe that your use of Christianity has sown the seeds of deep discord in our nation and throughout the world. Hear some of your own words:

"You owe liberals nothing. They despise you because they despise your Christ."
-- Church Leader Bob Jones, to George W. Bush after 2004 election

"I hope the Supreme Court will finally read the Constitution and see there's no such thing, or no mention, of separation of church and state in the Constitution."
-- House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas)

"Our job is to reclaim America for Christ, whatever the cost. As the vice regents of God, we are to exercise godly dominion and influence…in short, over every aspect and institution of human society."
-- Dr. D. James Kennedy, Coral Ridge Ministries

"…the liberal, anti-Christian dogma of the left has been repudiated…"
-- Tony Perkins, Family Research Council

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians … the ACLU, People For the American Way … I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen'."
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell, on Pat Robertson's 700 Club discussing the WTC attacks

We must tell you now that you do not speak for us, or for our politics. We say "No" to the ways you are using the name and language of Christianity to advance what we see as extremist political goals. We do not support your agenda to erode the separation of church and state, to blur the vital distinction between your interpretation of Christianity and our shared democratic institutions. Moreover, we do not accept what seems to be your understanding of Christian values. We reject a Christianity co-opted by any government and used as a tool to ostracize, to subjugate, or to condone bigotry, greed and injustice.

If your politics flow from your faith, then we do not know the Jesus you claim to follow. We cannot imagine a Jesus who would say:

"You are strong and powerful; your ideals are noble. Make war to spread those ideals."
"The end is near - So it doesn't matter what you do to my Father's creation."
"Heal the sick - Provided they can pay."
"All are welcome at the table - As long as they are the same as we are."
"Follow me - And help me form a government to force others to follow."

Do you believe such statements truly reflect Christian or American values? Do these views follow what Jesus taught? Do you think it is genuinely American to steer our country toward a Christian theocracy? Is it Christian to foster intolerance? Is this the path to which Jesus leads us?

We say "No". Instead, we say "Yes" to values Jesus plainly and passionately practiced. Listen to his words:

"I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
-- John 13:34-35

We hold up to all fellow Americans the heart of Jesus' teaching: his unwavering commitment to justice, compassion, responsibility, equality, and care "for the least of these". These are values Jesus taught, and they also serve among America's finest traditional values. Our political views flow from these values.

We also reaffirm a well-established American commitment to a clear separation of church and state. In your statements you often characterize America as a "Christian nation". We strongly disagree. As a nation of immigrants, America has been a land of freedom and diversity. Separation of church and state helps ensure liberty and justice for all Americans - not just those who are like-minded. Hear these words:

"The church must be reminded that it is not the master or the servant of the state, but rather the conscience of the state."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Know that you do not speak for us. We oppose so many of your words and deeds. But though we may disagree with you, we offer this declaration in a spirit of openness. We hope you will respond in kind. We call on you to stop dividing our country with your words and actions, and we invite you to turn to compassion and justice, values that Jesus lived.

In Truth and Faith,
Christian Alliance for Progress

They have my signature.

Promise Keepers

My church is conducting sign-ups for Promise Keepers. If you are not familiar with PK you can read more about them here at Religoustolerance.org. They do a pretty fair job of describing PK and its pros and cons. I've been to PK once, back in 1993 which was pretty close to when it started. It was a strange experience and a bit overwhelming. At that time there were about 40-50,000 men at a stadium in Boulder, CO. I remember the entire stadium full of men singing, praying, worshipping. James Dobson spoke. At the time I enjoyed the whole experience but that faded eventually.

I remember coming home and telling my wife "I'm ready to be the spiritual leader of our family now." I don't think I even knew what that meant but it was a phrase I'd heard so much during the PK event that it had worked its way into my head. I'm still not sure what "spiritual leadership" means. Whatever it is, I soon realized that it was something that I'd rather share. I think my wife and I do a good job now of guiding our family spiritually. It hasn't required any sort of unilateral coup on my part.

There's a mob mentality at our church with PK. Last year there was definite pressure from the other men in the church and from the elders (who are men of course) to sign up and go to PK. I was actually signed up to go but work prevented me from going. Our church plays MTV style videos for PK during the service showing chanting, singing men and encouraging men to sign up. They encourage wives to encourage their husbands to sign up. I've heard women request prayers for their husbands to go to PK.

I think the large numbers are one of the reasons I feel uneasy about going. People will often agree to things and do things in large crowds that they might not when alone or with a small group of people. I'm leery of Dobson now. I don't know if he is still involved but I wouldn't be surprised. I remember one of the main speakers in '93 talking about raising hands during worship and left with the impression that this was necessary to truly worship God. I'm still not sure what this whole "spiritual leadership" idea is. It makes me nervous.

On the other hand, if I do go I'm sure to have lots of material for my blog. Right now I'm leaning toward not going but we'll see how I resist the pressure. More to come...

Our worship leader is a fascist dictator!

This profound thought occurred to me as I was in church today. We were singing the usual assortment of praise songs when the guest worship leader began barking orders. It was pretty strange. We were singing along when he belted out between lines "Sing this one to the Father!" Which I thought was odd. Who else did he think we were singing to? One other time he shouted "Worship God in your hearts!" Right-o!

He also had this odd habit of shouting out the lines in advance that we were supposed to be singing. Which might be helpful if we were sitting around a campfire in the woods but we have a giant projection screen hanging over the stage like The Mothership with the lines already on it. It was very distracting. As I've said, I know most of the lines so I close my eyes and try to focus on worship but it was difficult today.

I'm not sure what was going on with him. What would motivate somebody to micromanage worship to such a degree that it actually becomes a frustrating experience? Why would he make the assumption that God's people would need someone to do that?

I'm reminded of the church I grew up in. The choir (choir? don't you mean praise team?) had a loft in the back of the church, well out of sight. Not on the stage in front of everyone. There was a choir director, a nice older man. You hardly ever saw him. You hardly ever saw any of them. They just sang. And other times the congregation would sing. No one got in the way of worship. I took it for granted then but I miss it now.

Holy Hands

Interesting experience in church today. During the singing parts of the service I generally close my eyes. I've done this for the better part of the year. There are several reasons I do it. The biggest is I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be looking at when I'm singing. I know the words to the songs so I don't need to read them on the big projected screen. Right above the lyrics is a video of the song leader or one of the other singers. I really don't want to be watching them either. I could watch the stage but that also seems weird. In the past I've taken to watching the other members of the audience. But that was also quite distracting. So I close my eyes and sing.

Today we were singing a song and the lyrics went:

so we raise up holy hands
to praise the holy one

and I had to open my eyes at that point. Of course at that point probably 20% of the congregation did indeed have one or both hands raised up with their palms facing forward toward the stage and the band or else up toward the ceiling. There was something about seeing that, and the phrase holy hands from the song that gave me pause.

I know the phrase comes from Scripture. The actual verse is 1 Timothy 2:8 which states (in context in the NIV):

⁷And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle— - I am telling the truth, I am not lying - and a teacher of the true faith to the Gentiles.

⁸I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

⁹I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes...

I just think the phrase is odd. I decided to look up the word holy on Merriam-Webster Online to see what it says. They give several definitions:

1 : exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness

Are our hands worthy of complete devotion? Heh. You should see the crap that gets under my nails. No worshipping happening here.

2 : Divine

Um... no.

3 : devoted entirely to the deity or the work of the deity

Well.... this may be in the realm of possibility. On second thought - no. I'd love to think my hands are devoted entirely to God and to God's work but I'm doubtful. Best to err on the side of caution. No holy hands by this definition.

4 : having a divine quality or venerated as or as if sacred

Divine hands? Venerated, sacred hands? I dunno....

Now part of this is from me being raised in a very stodgy, mainline Protestant denomination. No one would dare to raise their hands during a song. Heck we didn't even have songs - we had hymns. So take my background into consideration but I'm not convinced raising my hands during worship is for me. I couldn't do it without being self-conscious. I don't want to question others' motives but I hope they are doing it sincerely. The verse in question actually talks about raising hands during prayer not during singing. Why don't people raise their hands in prayer then?

It seems to me that it could be emotionally-driven. I think our emotions have their place and they were certainly created by God. But I've seen firsthand that our emotions are not always an accurate reflection of reality. I can feel like someone is indifferent to or even hates me. That may be the truth but it could just as easily be inaccurate. I don't want my emotions leading they way when it comes to prayer and worship.

Ever-stranger in a strange land

I and my church are not a good fit. We've been attending a large, evangelical/fundamentalist Christian church since we moved to town. It seemed to be the right place at first. It had scads of people attending: young, old, white, black. It was "upbeat" and energetic. The pastor was charismatic, humorous and very bright. He could communicate flawlessly and he passed the Insomnia Test and kept me awake through his sermons week after week. They had an active children's ministry that our kids actually enjoyed and wanted to attend. We had struck gold.

It is a very conservative church. While there are certainly more conservative churches out there, some even in our town, it does fall on the far right both theologically as well as politically. Wednesday evening pastoral Bible studies would divert occasionally into anti-evolution lectures. People would talk in Sunday School about how America had to support Israel because God would abandon America if we ever abandoned Israel. The Bible does not contain the word of God. The Bible is the word of God. Stuff like that.

I've grown restless in this church. My thoughts on faith have been changing lately. I certainly no longer identify myself as a fundamentalist and, for that matter, evangelical doesn't seem to fit either. Yet we will likely stay at this church for the forseeable future because a) it has a good children's program, b) my wife and I have made many friends there, and c) people there really do appear to want to draw closer to God and learn more about God.

So what happens to me? I'm not sure. I suspect I will be sorting out my thoughts on this and other matters and see what shakes loose.

A blog

Disambiguation is one of my new favorite words. It's blatantly stolen from Wikipedia which states

Disambiguation in Wikipedia and Wikimedia is the process of resolving ambiguity —meaning the conflicts that occur when articles about two or more different topics have the same "natural" title.

I love that idea. Resolving ambiguity sounds noble. Especially in matters of faith. And that is the general intent of this blog - to attempt to resolve ambiguity. This is primarily for my own benefit as I continually sort out what I do and don't believe. You may benefit from my thought broadcasting - you may not. And sometimes ambiguity can not be resolved. Then it must be embraced. And perhaps even celebrated. I'm prepared to go there as well.